A mix of emotions. Yep, that describes my week.

Today is my son’s 7th birthday, born both here and in Heaven on September 23, 2004. This is a bittersweet day. My heart rejoices at the thought that he is healed; that he is running and leaping and playing; that he is able to see Jesus face-to-face; that he is surrounded by both my dad’s parents and my mom’s parents, and even some of his cousins on this birthday! I am sad that I can’t see him today and that my other two children don’t know him, yet, but that will come one day. Truly, my heart is at rest.

The revolving theme in my heart this week has been: God is my Healer! He can bind up our wounds, heal our diseases, and comfort our hearts in ways no one else can!

Seven years ago (2004) my life was filled with heart-ache, hurt, loss, infidelity, sickness, death, questions with no answers. But God was there. He brought me through each day, each hour and each moment. My only answer for making it through that season in life is: Jesus!

Today I am able to look back and see that 7 years have passed! (This is where my eyes fill with tears…) 7 years that God has brought me through! 7 years. And while some have been very difficult, they have all been SO blessed by God!

Some of the blessings:

Loved ones ~ Family, friends and even at times, complete strangers, have shown me the love of Jesus! They were His hands and feet to me!

Encouragement ~ Cards, emails, prayers!

God’s Promises to me, revealed in His Word. How amazing to see that He is indeed, trust-worthy! He keeps His promises!

My beautiful children ~ Their giggles and smiles. Their words and seeing Jesus in their lives.

God’s Provision and Comfort.

Why do I write this? Because while my times have not been as hard as others’, I have had some dark days and I want others to know that Jesus can bring healing. I want to testify that He is our Hope! He can restore joy in our lives!He gives Peace!

That is where the mix of emotions have come into play this week: remembering God’s amazing goodness to me, remembering His kindness to me, remembering the healing He has given to me, remembering that I am kept in His Hands. And remembering the Hope I have because of Jesus’ love for me and the sacrifices He made for me!

If you are struggling to find hope, please do not give up! Call out to Jesus. He loves you. And He wants to help you! He can heal! He can bring peace.

He is our Healer!

Today’s health shake:

5 chopped Cabbage leaves

1 1/2 tblsp Cocoa

1/4 tsp Flaxseed

Ice

2 cold Bananas

1 cup Coconut Milk

It was delicious! Give it a try.

 Re-posting this from October 29, 2007.

What do you see in this picture?

Let me tell you what I see…

Wednesday night, Hannah, Noah and I were on our way home from church. (During the course of that day, Hannah and I had been talking about pumpkins. We both really enjoyed seeing them on people’s porches and sidewalks and yards. They are such pretty decorations for Fall! And I love the Fall and I think Hannah is going to love it, too! But Hannah and I had been discussing pumpkins and she asked me if we could buy one, but it is kind of tight right now, and so I said, “I don’t know, Hannah. I am not sure that we can afford it right now.”) We were about halfway home and Hannah was really quiet. Finally she piped up in the back seat and said, “Mommy, we need to pray about trick-or-treat (costumes.)” And so she proceeded to talk to Jesus about her need of a costume, that He would help her to know what to wear and then she mentioned the pumpkin…

Her prayer went something like this…

“Dear Jesus,

Please help me to know what to be for trick-or-treat? I don’t know what to wear. Not svitches (witches) or ghosts, cause they are bad, but maybe an animal, or something. And… please provide a pumpkin for us?

In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”

People, I HAVE to tell you, my heart was so touched! It was such a sweet prayer. That at 4 years old, she had the faith to talk to Jesus about something she wanted so badly, and to ask Him to provide it for her.

Now I will tell you what I see, when I see that pumkin : A Miracle. When we came home yesterday afternoon, from a wonderful time out in the country for our church’s old-fashioned Sunday (I will be writing more about that later,) this beautiful pumpkin AND the carving kit were sitting by our front door!! What a wonderful thing to hear my little girl say so excitedly, “Mommy!! We need to thank Jesus for giving us a PUMPKIN!!”

So, to our “angel” out there, I say, “Thank You!! You were used by God to help grow my little girl’s faith in her really Big God! After-all, He can do anything, you know?!”

My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty,

There’s nothing my God cannot do!

Fall fades into winter, winter warms to spring… As with the seasons of weather, so are the seasons of life. And my! How the seasons in my life have changed over the last few years! Some changes have crept slowly along, while others have happened quickly. Some changes have been painful, while other changes have been refreshing and very welcome!

Sunday, in community group, it was pointed out to me that I don’t like change. Yep, I knew that! A lot of the changes that have happened in the past have come along with loss and they have been painful to me. That has caused me to fear change. It is only in recent months that change has come more gently.

For the last couple of years, I have really struggled with loneliness. I had some dear godly friends that moved on to other things in life ~ they, too, were experiencing change and it was good for them to go ~ but it was painful to me. I had to learn that just because friends leave after a season, it didn’t mean they didn’t love me anymore, it just meant that there were other places God needed them to minister. I did not enjoy having to learn that lesson. I did not enjoy being alone, but for some reason, God saw that it was good for me to go through those waters, for me to experience loneliness.

I am reminded of this passage in 2 Corinthians 1.

“All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.”

At the end of last year, God began showing me that there are other single parents out there who are struggling with loneliness, too. It wasn’t just me. What a revelation! And out of that revelation, the winds of change began to blow, and with those winds, a new season of my life was providentially being ushered in.

Along with some friends, I have been able to help start a group for single parents in the area. A group where we can band together, to help and encourage one another. A group where we can get together and have fun and grow. Where we can share in the different seasons that life brings our way. Because there isn’t a season that we are going through that someone else hasn’t experienced already ~ friends are able to tell us if we will need hats and mittens, or shorts and sandals. ~ But more significantly, there is a Friend (Jesus Christ) who has gone through each season life has to offer and has come through it victoriously! Because of the hope He gives, we can offer His hope to others who are hurting, or lonely. And in the end we come out encouraged, too.

So don’t fear the winds of change that bring each new season, because as the wind blows, it removes leaves and snow, clouds and rain, and in the process it reveals blue skies and the warm sun, thus allowing new life to sprout; so it is with the winds of change in life ~ as the old dear friends and familiar things move away, room is created for new friends and other opportunities for us to see the Son and it gives us a chance to grow and blossom in the warmth of His love. Then when others see the beauty He has created, they in turn glorify Him!

Hope you are having a great Monday! A new week and a new beginning that we have been given!

Here’s my update on exercise and food choices…

The weekend went fairly well. I did cheat a little, but not worried about that too much.

Saturday -  oatmeal for breakfast, salad for lunch, and 2 Farm Rich quesadilla wedges for supper. (Holy cow! I learned that, while delicious, they are extremely high in fat. 12 grams of fat in 2 small wedges!)

Saturday night we were invited to a “camp-out” as the kids called it - aka a fire in a fire-pit, to roast marshmallows. So we took graham crackers and Hershey bars. The s’mores were good. I had 2. (1 = 1 graham cracker broken in half with 2 squares of chocolate and 1 FAT marshmallow.)

For exercise on Saturday, we walked downtown (not quite a mile.) And then I did yardwork that afternoon and cleaned my car.

Sunday - oatmeal for breakfast and a couple sips of Diet Dr. Pepper (I didn’t even come close to drinking the whole 10 oz glass.) For lunch - I went to a reception had a couple little sandwiches and some chips and dip, but I skipped on the cake! (And that was a sacrifice. It looked so yummy. But I will say that it is getting easier to skip, plus, I had some friends from my small group (church) there with me and they know about my “journey” so that helped to hold me accountable.) When the community group met @ 3:30, I skipped the snacks and had a small cup of coffee and a big cup of water. (Again - delicious temptations abounded! :-)  Like Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies!!)  When I got home last night, I had a hotdog (real bad on fat!) without a bun and I can’t remember what else… It wasn’t much.

Today - for breakfast I had two eggs w/ cheese, orange juice and water.

Snack- a yogurt and a cup of popcorn. This morning so far I have had about 70 oz. of water.

For exercise I was able to get in 70 minutes on the bike. Might try to get a walk in this afternoon, I am not sure, yet. But I am thankful to have the biggest part of my exercise done already!

If you actually read through this looonnng book and made it to this point, how did your weekend go? Did you have a good one?

Breakfast - two fried eggs (used olive oil)  and water, coffee and orange juice.

Snack/Lunch - Two yogurts and an apple and 2 (18 oz) cups of water.

Supper - Homemade cheese pizza with whole wheat crust, salad and for dessert homemade apple pizza (whole wheat crust, cream cheese/maple topping with homemade applesauce.) (We were invited to someone’s home for supper…)

Originally, I thought I would take it easy on the exercise today, after yesterday’s good “ride,” but I was able to get in 60 minutes on the bike today. So I was happy with that!

Have you heard Stephen Curtis Chapman’s Newest CD - Beauty Will Rise?

Go here and check it out. It is great!

I am thankful that through his loss, he is able to minister to others who have experienced loss. Isn’t that what it is all about?

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.”  1 Corinthians 1:3-7

Have you ever wondered how much water you should be drinking each day? If you are anything like me, you have…

Here is a cool tool. It calculates how much water you should be drinking, so you can save energy from having to do all that math, and apply it toward working out!

 Let me know if you try it!

I just beat my personal best record… not a big deal, but exciting for me!

I did 90 minutes on the bike. (I’ve done that before…)

I was hitting 20 mi/hr! (Holy cow! I usually average about 12-15.)

I burned 1,019 calories!

And it said I did 83.1 laps - but who really cares about laps? 

Breakfast - oatmeal, orange juice and regular coffee. (I usually do decaf.)

Snack (Boy! I could tell I really needed some protein!) - yogurt and popcorn. Not together. That would have been gross.

So far I have had 5 (18 oz.) cups of water.

SO PUMPED!!

Now it is off to get schoolwork knocked out.

25 minutes on the bike this morning.

45 minute walk at the park this afternoon. (Another beautiful day!)

Oatmeal for breakfast.

Salad and 2 chicken nuggets for lunch.

Snack at park - yogurt.

Supper - not the greatest (high in carbs but high on protein, too) Simply Asian - Spicy Peanut Noodles.

Sleepy. Sleepy. Heading to bed!